• Thursday, August 17 3:23 p.m. After flailing at passing cars and acting erratically at the Bayside Cutoff, a man in a blue windbreaker disappeared into a nearby horse barn, his purpose there unknown but likely unwholesome and/or pointless.
7:27 p.m. Why, an Irene Street resident asked himself, would his neighbor enter his yard when he wasn’t home, and take pictures of his house?
• Friday, August 18 2:06, 2:12, 2:13 a.m. Arcata Police removed drunks posing various levels of danger to themselves and others from the streets and steering wheels of our land, at Ninth and H streets, 16th and G streets and Eighth and H streets.
6:08 a.m. A barefoot woman roamed G Street, knocking on doors and jiggling doorhandles.
11:14 a.m. Setting up an orange tent on the gravel bar in the Mad River is a fool’s errand – a major fail in modern parlance – now that it’s part of Carlson Park, and the city is out there doing enforcement every day.
1:04 p.m. Someone went to an L.K. Wood Boulevard address advertised as a rental on Craigslist, but the people there said their address is sometimes used by rent-scammers.
3:37 p.m. A dog was reported poisoned in Patrick Court.
5:40 p.m. After shoplifting at a Uniontown variety store, a man in greenish-blue pants strolled away on H Street scarfing an ice cream sandwich. He was cited for petty theft.
• Saturday, August 19 8:28 a.m. The residential vehicle campers – this one by the marsh – aren’t necessarily the most cheerful sorts of folks.
5:59 p.m. There were only six dogs on the No Dogs Allowed Plaza at this moment.
7:46 p.m. A Stromberg Avenue home was entered through a back garage door that may or may not have been locked and burglarized away the jewelry, camping gear, power tools and electronics.
• Sunday, August 20 1:04 a.m. A man stole a green baseball cap on H Street, and ran away.
2:12 a.m. A loud street musician’s busking kept someone near 10th and H streets awake.
• Monday, August 21 11:15 a.m. A man and woman bought cigarettes with a stolen credit card at a J Street gas station.
4:37 p.m. A 12th Street apartment dweller reported her neighbor leaving his door cracked open and then when people walk into the hallway talking, he slams it shut. The caller was concerned that the neighbor was waiting at the door and listening, poised to pounce with the slammage.
• Tuesday, August 22 11:35 a.m. A shirtless drunk raged and railed at passersby and a bus on Valley West Boulevard.
12:56 p.m. A Janes Creek Drive resident left his garage door open overnight, and come morning there were three fewer bicycles and one less power washer left within.
2:09 pm. Slouchabouts on the Plaza swelled to 50 in number, smoking, dogging, exchanging minor infections and otherwise carpe-ing their diems. Someone was cited for something, so that should take care of it.
3:29 p.m. HSU Police asked APD to look in on a student who had been emailing in complaints about his neighbors. He thinks they’re monitoring his conversations, and it’s upsetting him so much that he might have to drop out of school.
7:59 p.m. A man unloading his car at a low-budget Valley West motel noticed a guy in a white T-shirt taking pictures of the vehicle.
• Wednesday, August 23 7:26 a.m. There having been a slump in reported incidents of wildmen in jungle garb bellowing obscenities, a camouflaged-panted man on J Street undertook regression to the mean.
7:25 p.m. Apparently the roundabout at Samoa Boulevard and Union Street doesn’t function as a peace mandala radiating spiritual calm to all who traverse its infinite circle. Or at least it doesn’t do that very well, since a road-rage kerfuffle there resulted in someone getting their hand broke.
9:14 p.m. Another profane yellingman threw rocks at people on Boyd Road, his errant missiles striking various poles in the area.
10:02 p.m. Two cans of beer were the thirst-slaking fruits of a shoplifting session that led a man in a red sweatshirt to be arrested at Uniontown.
10:08 p.m. Downtown’s own volunteer screecher used the Intermodal Transit Facility as a yelly pulpit.
11:07 p.m. Perhaps lacking the lungpower to yellingly annoy Mack Road residents, a man revved the engine of his white pickup truck for an hour or so.
• Thursday, August 24 7:25 a.m. A woman at a Union Street apartment building started yelling at her neighbors at 4 a.m., and hadn’t stopped since.
9:18 a.m. Another Master of the Goofballian Arts in all black clothing waved a stick around at passersby near the Plaza flagpole.
12:45 p.m. The normally peaceable water bill-paying window at City Hall was lashed with desultory howls and baying by an erratic-acting man, who accomplished nowt but exercising his gnarly gob at inappropriate volume.
1:52 p.m. A red-haired man with a green hat and the mandatory camouflage pants sold cannabis out of “dog bags” at Ninth and H streets. He was arrested.
8:43 p.m. A man and woman drove slowly through the Bloomfield neighborhood for a couple of hours until finally confronted on Zehndner Avenue. They explained that they were “selling carpets.” At this time of night. Selling carpets ... yeah, that’s the ticket.
10:06 p.m. “Get away from me!” was the not-unreasonable demaind of a woman being chased by some guy on I Street.
11:43 p.m. What a bearded man in the alley next to the downtown fire station lacked in imagination, he made up for in upholding tradition with a fusspottian failstorm of time-honored obscenities. He was moved along.
• Friday, August 25 8:13 a.m. To get himself revved up for a hearty bout of yelling at the Intermodal Transit Whatever-it-isamacallit, a man in a gray hoodie threw a watermelon at a passing bus, as one does in these circumstances.
9:03 a.m. A Wyatt Lane resident made a heavy metal donation to the roving opportunivores of our land by leaving two buckets of coins in an unlocked car. Gone by morn.